everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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