He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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