I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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