i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
