you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
