Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize