question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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