I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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