The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
