Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
