u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
