I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
