Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
