i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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