I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You pole danced in your parka.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
