You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
