this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
