so explain again why im purple
no
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
