The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize