that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
