Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
