I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
