yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
