Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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