My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I got inside last night via doggy door
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Randomize
