Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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