I feel like I'm in dance class right now
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
