I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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