Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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