So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
