dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
