and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
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We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
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Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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