it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Pooping to opera.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
