i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize