Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
