people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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