you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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