im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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