I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
More tranny stories later!
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
