protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
