Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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