did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
