I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Everclear isn't food dammit
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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