I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
