You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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