i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
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He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
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Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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