Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
