I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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