Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just forgot I was standing up.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
