New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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