The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize