I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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