return my video game
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
