In the future we'll all be gay
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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