yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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