i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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