do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Enjoy the penises
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
