oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
