I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
